Paris - Here We Come!

Tim and I are heading to Paris this weekend for a friend's Birthday Party! We had planned to go before I got pregnant, so it made sense to still go as we wanted to enjoy a weekend in a beautiful city and spend some time together enjoying life (instead of me laying in bed like a hermit)!

I am very excited to enjoy the amazing food (crepes with Nutella anyone?) and walking around shopping! While i will not be able to partake in lots of wine drinking, I am happy to get out and travel and be in a wonderful place to celebrate a happy marriage and life and be with Tim!

More to come!

The Heartbeat is in amazing experience!

Today, we had a four-week check-up appointment with my Doctor. As Tim and I sat waiting, the nurse gave us some information on first trimester/second trimester blood testing. For some reason, reading this info and waking up on the wrong side of the bed made me extra emotional today and I started balling right there in the Doctor's office. I think I was a little nervous as I knew this was a moment when we would see where the baby was at and I worried, what if I did not hear a heartbeat.

My Doctor walked in mid-ball and I think she thought we were crazy or something. I really had no real reason to cry - I think I was just tired from not sleeping well - um, getting up every hour for the bathroom takes a lot of energy and time - and I was feeling stressed from work and the unknown of what was going on with the baby.

After a few minutes, I calmed down and we started talking. After going through a few questions/discussion points, my Doctor gave me the run down on what I need to do for the genetic testing I was so confused about. Basically, today I would give blood for the first of two tests that would be taken to monitor for any potential birth defects in the baby. The second step is to go to a specialist who will do an ultrasound to test the length of the baby's neck. At this point, there is a small possibility we may find out the sex. I then have to take a second blood test in my second trimester, which will be combined with these two earlier tests to configure the odds of our child having a genetic disorder. Once we know the odds, then we decide if we do an amniocentesis! Whoooo...this is a lot to take in, but I do feel better knowing what I have to do!

So, on to the fun part. We did not do an ultrasound today, which I was bummed about, but my Doctor did put a machine up to my belly to find the heartbeat (she said the ultrasound was only necessary if they could not hear the hearbeat). It took a minute or so to find it. At first we heard some static (cell phones) and then we heard my heartbeat. Finally, underneath all of that, we heard the baby's heartbeat...it was so fast and quick and continuous. It was amazing! For me, this made it much more real than I have felt before. There it was, this little being growing inside of me! Crazy stuff!

The heartbeat sounds very strong my Doctor told us and she confirmed this was a big milestone to reach - it was a good feeling and just made me want to hear and see more!

Next up, the ultrasound test in a few weeks!

11 Weeks!

This week I have hit 11 Weeks! I can almost officially say I am at 3 months....almost!

This week, our baby is as big as a fig and moving her hands and feet vigorously! I go to the Doctor tomorrow to get a 4-week check-up - I hope we get another ultra-sound to see the current size and development. I am excited to see where we are at with the Doctor. I also need tot talk to her about genetic testing, something, I am not sure what to do about!

I have been feeling much more energetic and not as sick since taking my medication, but the nausea is not completely gone. It still comes at night, just not as bad as before. I am able to eat normal meals now but I am still in some agony around 8 PM every night!

I am counting my lucky stars, at least I am seeing the light (I hope=)!

Victoria Secret Party while Pregnant - not a good idea!

My very good friend Jessica hosted a fabo party for her client Victoria Secret last night at the new Trousdale club in Weho (for all of the celeb attendees and gossib, check it out here: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/03/exclusive-lindsay-lohan-couldnt-get-victorias-secret-bash! I was feeling pretty good, so decided to go with Tim and our friends Barbara and Raman. We had a nice dinner in Bev Hills and headed to the club. I stuggled to find an outfit that would look cute, sexy and hide my large, ginormous chest and my rounder but, hips and belly. Tough challenge!

I decided on a knit DVF dress that once looked cute and funky on me when I wore it to my bday dinner last September. Now, it looked tight and a bit like, "what has Monica been eating lately". I wore black leggings and over the knee boots to hide my pasty, not so shapely legs and made my hair big to try and hide the roots screaming for a highlight.

I did my best, but as I walked into the club and saw the groups of pre-pubescent, ultra-thin LA twentysomethings in their barely there dresses (with sequence which I Love) and their tiny legs and beautiful hair, I lost it. I just could not help feel like a big, blubbery mess. Probably not the best idea to go to a party that boasts swimsute models and lingerie!

We left early - I am still sorry Barb/Raman - and I came home and cried.

Today, I woke up with a renewed sense of strength - it is time to take this pregnancy and make it my own. My solution! Shopping, a trip to the salon for a haircut and highlight, excercise and an attitude adjustment!

So going forward, it will be all about the best mom-to-be I can be - and the best comfortably dressed me possible!

I survived Vegas Pregnant!

So, I had to make a trip to Vegas this week for a client who was participating in a media event during the Spring CTIA show! JOY! Vegas without having fun seemed like a nightmare to me! I was dreading the trip! Long lines waiting for a cab, drinking and smoking all around me, people everywhere, ugh! How would I survive (one of the reasons I starting taking my anti-nausea medication was to make sure I could get through this trip).

Well, low and behold, I surprised myself! It was not bad, not bad at all! The weather was pleasant, the work was smooth and productive and I felt good (thanks to my new drugs) and reaching deep inside to find that energy fountain bubbling below my surface. While I will admit - I was SUPER BUMMED I could not partake in the fun of Vegas - including catching up with old work friends over cocktails and having amazing dinners with great wine - I did enjoy waking up NOT HUNGOVER and being able to function like a normal person without alcohol running through my veins. I even felt that I could do a whole weekend in Vegas pregnant - with the amazing pools, shopping and spas there I could find stuff to occupy my days. I would just be sleeping before the parties really got started!

I did decide however that I am going to plan a Post-Baby party for myself and anyone who wants to come in vegas once I am ready for it! I mean, after all, Vegas is for the night life first and fore most.

If you are interested in joining me, just let me know!

Drugs are good

So, after a month and some days of feeling like utter crap, I decided to take some action. I called my Doctor and told her I was basically becoming a hermit/couch potato/vegetable and my life had no meaning because I did not have the energy nor the ability to function like a normal person (Ok, this is maybe a bit dramatic, but you get the picture). Thankfully, she prescribed a mild drug - Zofran - to ease my nausea! And you know what - it has pretty much worked since I started taking it Monday. While the nausea does still creep up in the afternoon/evenings, it is much more mild than what I am normally experiencing and for the first time I have had a full week of being able to get up and be functional most of the day! I am HAPPY! Now, if I could just deal with the side affects (you can pick which one I have - the potential ones include - headache, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain, tiredness and weakness)! Pregnancy is super fun! =)

Sea Bands - Not working

Tim bought me some of the Sea Bands at CVS. They were child size and orange and yellow and very flourescent. I wore them all day yesterday and they did not work! Ok, next???? Can I have some anti-nausea drugs please!

10 Weeks - Yeah!

Well, I figured out I am now another 10 weeks away from being Halfway there -Holy Hell! (excuse my language)! This is a long process! How do I make it go faster? I do apologize if I sound like a horrible woman but this is not a process I LOVE doing! I mean, I cannot wait to feel the baby move and stuff, but right now, I just feel yuck!

OK, enough of the negative. I am sure you are all tired of hearing my broken record complaints. But this is one of the reasons I am doing this blog - as an outlet and place to discuss all that is going on in my body!

So, I am ten weeks this week! Very exciting to be in the double digits! As reporter in my last post, my nausea has found a regular schedule - every day around 4 or 5 it decides to visit. I am usually in bed a few hours later as I cannot eat any more to try and make it go away and nor can deal with it without clutching my bed sheets for hope that it will stop the ride. Anyway, I am still sleeping a lot - went to bed at 8:30 last night! My boobs seem to grow every day! Today, I tried to put on a lovely Juicy couture dress that is easy to throw on and it quickly slipped down my boobs within 5 seconds of putting it on. Wow, can you imagine what they are going to look like in a few months?

Ten weeks, I have a few more to get through this first trimester. I am looking to April like it is the end of a marathon, the joy I hope to feel with some relief!

I will tell you this - I feel VERY HAPPY that I have made it this far with a healthy baby still growing in my belly. I feel honored and excited that this is happening to me! And I cannot wait until another few months when I can really see and feel this baby growing (I am a visual person so this I think will make me feel better). My baby is currently the size of a kumquat (what is that???) or close to it! I go back to the Doctor in a week! I hope everything will be safe and healthy!!!

Including Me=)

Mexican is Good!

Yesterday, I managed to get a walk in with Tim and Coco and a mini run on the beach. It is a priority for me to get some kind of excercise in as much as I can so as not to blow up like a balloon (as I already feel myself doing). I am eating so much on a daily basis but not burning it in my normal manner that at this rate I don't know what I am going to look like at 9 months. Anyway, it was nice to get outside and get active. My nausea has found a schedule - daily, I feel pretty good until about 4 or 5 and then the nausea finds its way to my body. I end up making my way to bed around 7 or 8 just to try to ease the waves of nausea as they hit! It is not fun.

Mexican food has not been on my list of cravings - as I told Tim yesterday, I am not sure I am even at th craving stage yet as most food just makes me feel sick. Anyway, I decided I wanted some Mexican yesterday. So Tim and I headed to Holy Guacomole on Main Street in Venice. I had never been but it sounded good. I ordered a chicken burrito with everything on it - guacomole, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomato and more. It was like Heaven! I had never found a food that hit the spot so much (other than my mom's mac and cheese). While I was full after, the burrito made me feel pretty good for about 4 hours and that was wonderful for me.

I think I have found a new favorite in pregnancy food!

Up and down, Up and down

It is Wednesday, March 17th. St. Patty's Day. My lovely husband just left to enjoy a lunch full of beer to celebrate being Irish and his Birthday - which I was too sick last night to help him celebrate properly.

I am a bit jealous - St. Patty's Day was always one of my favorite days to go out and partake in fun, green libations. But living in LA makes it a bit easier to not celebrate - if I was still in Chicago, I think I would be crying in my water! Either way, today, I am just happy to feel somewhat good and for the happy breeze running through our condo. This week it has been hitting 80 at the beach - which means it is hot - and without air conditioning and a breeze it can be quite stifling in here. Today, I am looking out at the lovely waves, the people enjoying the warmth and the breeze is keeping me cool. I am a bit nervous for the summer when I am big and the heat is more prevalent...Our little ghetto air conditioner in the bedroom may not work so well! Or I will set-up permanent residence in the bedroom for the summer!

My mom has decided to fly in this afternoon to help me out with grocery shopping and cooking. This is a God send since I cannot step foot inside a grocery as the smells make me want to run to the nearest bathroom stat and I have not cooked a damn thing since I found out I was pregnant. It will be nice to have my mom around - even though Tim has been doing a stellar job taking care of me!

Yesterday was another bad day of pregnancy - my afternoon was filled with waves of nausea that rocked into the night, very little food as everything I tried did not help and me crying from the pain. See, I do not deal with pain well, I am a 100% a baby!

Enjoy St. Patty's Day and have one for me=)

Can we Hibernate for 9 Months?

I am officially at 9 weeks.....9 weeks! I feel like I should be at 12 weeks at this point. Every day, I think about being pregnant at least 20 times and I am reminded that I am pregnant about every other hour. I will tell you this - I have a newfound respect for all women who have had children especially ones that have done this more than once! This is no picnic! I mean, let's recap all of the changes going on in my body right now:

1. Nausea that loves to tease and taunt throughout the day. Last Thursday I had the bed spins when I went to bed - it was like I had done 3 shots of Jack Daniels or something. I wanted to go to the bathroom and make myself sick I was so miserable. I made it through! And luckily, my nausea has started to subside a bit - I had two great days this weekend without feeling much of anything in my belly - so I am very happy about that. But just when I think I am getting back to normal, that YUCK feeling makes it way to my stomach and I slowly crawl back to bed.

2. Exhaustion. The bottom line is I do not have the same amount of energy I had two months ago. I just have to accept it and I have to allow myself to sleep/lay/relax without feeling guilty. This also means I need to not feel guilty that I am not getting my usual 5 days of hard workouts in. I am learning to nap, or at least try. I am sleeping 10 hours at night....and still feeling tired when I wake. I have abstained from caffeine for the most part, which is not helping when it comes to my exhaustion. Oh and the headaches.

3. I am getting bigger! My boobs - whoa! I will be making a trip to the bra store in the next few weeks...and I am only 9 weeks! Holy cow how big will they be at 8 months! Kind of scared to think of it, I can see my 5 Foot 2 inch body falling forward from the weight of my chest and stomach in the summer. My jeans are tight and my belly is blubbery. I have a pretty little muffin top sticking out of my once sleek and skinny jeans! And I crave sweets! Oh boy, what I will look like in a few months!

4. No wine/champagne/martinis Oh my! While I know this may make me sound like a lush, I truly enjoyed my social life pre-baby. While I have to admit - I DO NOT WANT A DRINK AT ALL right now because the thought of any alcohol makes me sick - I still miss the joy of having an amazing glass of red! Or toasting with some bubbly when I have dinner with my girlfriends. Or joining in on the party with a mojito! I experienced my first social weekend with dinner and a party and it was quite interesting to notice the voice levels of everyone raise dramatically over several hours from wine/champagne/cocktails. My voice raised with them, not from drinking but just from trying to be heard. It was exhausting! And not as fun as I had hoped, although I was very proud of myself for making it through a fun party with my non-alcoholic mojito in one hand and my sobriety in the other. One huge benefit in the morning - NO HANGOVER! Although, with morning sickness (aka: All Day Long Sickness) I feel hungover most of the time anyway.

5. Worry - OK, so I am a worry wort/neurotic as it is! But now, I have a whole new set of concerns to think about - genetic testing on my baby, childbirth, sleeplessness, swelling up like a balloon, uncontrollable bodily functions, my baby's health, where to put the nursery, child insurance, how to raise a child, will Tim and I survive, and so much more! I read Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs and instead of making me laugh, it just made me feel sad. Thinking that she went through all of this and her scary birth story and now her child has autism. It just left a scary feeling inside of me that caused an emotional breakdown today!

Oh boy! All of this being said, I had an awesome weekend with my good friend Marty who has two beautiful boys in Boston. She filled me in on some wonderful stories of how much she loves those kids and how they just love her unconditionally. It was wonderful to see the happiness children do bring.

and I have to say, I am getting very excited about this baby and being a mother. I just so want to jump to the fourth or fifth month so that I can see and feel the baby inside of me!

I have this idea that pregnant women should be allowed to hibernate for 9 months so they can rest whenever they want, they don't have to try and make it through a crazy day when they have energy for about two hours of it and when they emerge from their hibernation, they will have a beautiful baby in their hands! Oh, and while we are at it can every baby be healthy and childbirth a breeze???

I would love to know how most women handle the emotional stress while going through pregnancy? That is a challenge I am not sure how to tackle!

Back to Nausea-ville

Ok, so I had a reprieve for a few days and now I am back to feeling like utter yuck! That is it, I just feel yuck! It is like I am running with the longest flu/hangover ever!!! I wish I could just snap my fingers and have it be gone. While I appreciate everyone's great advice on ways to help nausea - saltines, ginger, eating often - it doesn't really help. It still comes back and makes me want to just wrap up in a blanket and snuggle with Coco (which is what I am doing every time this overcomes me).

I know I sound a. like a broken record and b. like a big baby, but I cannot help it, I am MISERABLE!

How do women do this more than once???? I am in awe!!!

Is there a miracle pill I can take to feel normal again?

Down and out in LA!!!

Yes, You can Workout

I have been granted a reprieve from my first trimester symptoms, at least for the last few days. While I am still experiencing some bouts of nausea - mostly in the evenings - it seems Worlds better than earlier in the week. I have actually been able to get out of the house and do things. I am actually learning that the more I stay active the better I feel. When I give in to the symptoms, they seem to get worse! So my strategy right now is to keep moving and get as much done as I can earlier in the day. It helps when I go to bed at 9:30 and wake up at 6:30. Not my usual sleep schedule.

Anyway, I have been feeling like a big blob since most of my food intake has consisted of carbs, carbs, ice cream and more carbs. While I am not drinking wine any more (3 weeks and counting, I feel good about myself=), I am still putting the sugar in my body with sweets and carbs. And with little activity and exercise, I just feel blubbery. Thankfully I have a lot of flowy shirts.

Today was Saturday, I had a free day to get up and get motivated and not worry about work stuff. My body was screaming for yoga and it was time that I could finally make a class. So, I went to a 1 - 2 class, got some pointers from my teacher about what I could and could not do while pregnant and made it through the hour and twenty minute class feeling tired but refreshed. As an FYI - if you want to do yoga while pregnant - which I hear is supposed to be very good for you - here are the key points of things to do and not do in class:

1. No deep twists
2. No holding your breathe
3. No wheel (or backbends)
4. No jumping (into plank and so forth)

I am going to check out a pre-natal yoga class soon, but for now, I am happy to get back to stretching and getting stronger via yoga.

My day was made even better with a great lunch with some great girlfriends. It felt so good to get out of the house and socialize again. It made me realize that I am still me and I am still human - even though I have a little alien growing in my body!

Crossing my fingers that the nausea is slipping away for good (and to help it I picked up some pills at Whole Foods which are supposed to be good for "morning sickness"

Let the Water Works Begin

Well, actually, the water works have been going since I found out I was pregnant. Crying at the image of a baby/puppy/grandma/animal, whatever. I am crying constantly. Last night I had a total breakdown.

I have been reading that sometimes morning sickness can be caused by internal stress that you create in your body via mixed emotions about being pregnant. I don't know if that is what is giving me nausea, but I can say that my psychological state is all over the place right now. While I feel so blessed to be having a baby and to be given this gift of life, I am flipping out at the overall big deal that it is. I am really scared.

Scared of:

Being nauseous and sick
Being tired
Not being my normal, energetic self
Not being able to be social and interact with people (because right now, all I want to do is stay in bed, bury myself under the covers and come out in 8 months)
Buying new clothes as my belly, boobs and other parts grow (especially since I lost 20 pounds over the past several years)
Being tired
Getting sick (wait, did I already mention this)
Getting bigger
Not being able to drink wine at parties, trips, events
Falling asleep at dinners
Wanting the baby out sooner than it is ready as 9 months seems like forever
Giving birth (an obvious one)
and oh yeah, being a parent! I don't even feel like I can take care of myself let alone a baby. My whole life is going to change and I am struggling to accept this. I had a great life going on, I worry that having a baby will take away all of the freedom I have.
I worry that I will be a horrible parent - will I wake up when the baby cries, will I remember to put them in a car seat, will I know what to feed them, how to dress them and when to change them.

Oh, it is overwhelming!

I don't want to be afraid, but it is a very real emotion rushing through my body right now. This is what caused my breakdown yesterday. My poor husband.

While I know this is normal, I still struggle with how to deal with them. I was just getting to a good place with myself and now I have a whole new journey that I was not prepared to take.

I need to find a new psychologist ASAP!

First Ultrasound was a Success

I had my first Doctor appointment yesterday! It was nice to meet with the Doctor to go through my long list of questions and do an ultrasound to ensure the baby is growing and there is a powerful heartbeat going on inside of me. I see a great OBGYN in Westwood, and she was great for this first meeting! Tim came along which was quite an education for him. He had never been in an woman's gynecologist's room before...boy was it fun to watch him try to not be uncomfortable.

Anyway, she did an ultrasound on me and we got to see the baby. A tiny little peanut hanging in a vast abyss of darkness with a bright little blinking spot coming from inside. The heartbeat, it was real and vibrant and alive. That was amazing...to see this little being hanging out in space with it's center pulsating on and off, on and off, on and off. There was our baby, not quite 7 weeks old.

Wow, this was amazing! We even got to take home a picture of the little tyke! After the nurse took what seemed to be several pints of blood for a battery of test they need to take, I was able to go home. I stopped in at the pharmacy to pick up some Pregnancy Pop candies that are supposed to help with nausea and went on my merry way. I was able to get some work done at home, talk to a few people about the good news and after eating a big meal, falling into bed at 8:30 sick as a dog wondering when this nausea would go away! It is way more uncomfortable and annoying then I had ever thought. And I have 5 more weeks of this trimester to go. My Doctor told me it would come in waves! I am praying it will go away forever, but I am realistic! I am just holding that image of that little being in my body growing as the positive in this time of sickness!