Mexican is Good!

Yesterday, I managed to get a walk in with Tim and Coco and a mini run on the beach. It is a priority for me to get some kind of excercise in as much as I can so as not to blow up like a balloon (as I already feel myself doing). I am eating so much on a daily basis but not burning it in my normal manner that at this rate I don't know what I am going to look like at 9 months. Anyway, it was nice to get outside and get active. My nausea has found a schedule - daily, I feel pretty good until about 4 or 5 and then the nausea finds its way to my body. I end up making my way to bed around 7 or 8 just to try to ease the waves of nausea as they hit! It is not fun.

Mexican food has not been on my list of cravings - as I told Tim yesterday, I am not sure I am even at th craving stage yet as most food just makes me feel sick. Anyway, I decided I wanted some Mexican yesterday. So Tim and I headed to Holy Guacomole on Main Street in Venice. I had never been but it sounded good. I ordered a chicken burrito with everything on it - guacomole, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomato and more. It was like Heaven! I had never found a food that hit the spot so much (other than my mom's mac and cheese). While I was full after, the burrito made me feel pretty good for about 4 hours and that was wonderful for me.

I think I have found a new favorite in pregnancy food!

Yes, You can Workout

I have been granted a reprieve from my first trimester symptoms, at least for the last few days. While I am still experiencing some bouts of nausea - mostly in the evenings - it seems Worlds better than earlier in the week. I have actually been able to get out of the house and do things. I am actually learning that the more I stay active the better I feel. When I give in to the symptoms, they seem to get worse! So my strategy right now is to keep moving and get as much done as I can earlier in the day. It helps when I go to bed at 9:30 and wake up at 6:30. Not my usual sleep schedule.

Anyway, I have been feeling like a big blob since most of my food intake has consisted of carbs, carbs, ice cream and more carbs. While I am not drinking wine any more (3 weeks and counting, I feel good about myself=), I am still putting the sugar in my body with sweets and carbs. And with little activity and exercise, I just feel blubbery. Thankfully I have a lot of flowy shirts.

Today was Saturday, I had a free day to get up and get motivated and not worry about work stuff. My body was screaming for yoga and it was time that I could finally make a class. So, I went to a 1 - 2 class, got some pointers from my teacher about what I could and could not do while pregnant and made it through the hour and twenty minute class feeling tired but refreshed. As an FYI - if you want to do yoga while pregnant - which I hear is supposed to be very good for you - here are the key points of things to do and not do in class:

1. No deep twists
2. No holding your breathe
3. No wheel (or backbends)
4. No jumping (into plank and so forth)

I am going to check out a pre-natal yoga class soon, but for now, I am happy to get back to stretching and getting stronger via yoga.

My day was made even better with a great lunch with some great girlfriends. It felt so good to get out of the house and socialize again. It made me realize that I am still me and I am still human - even though I have a little alien growing in my body!

Crossing my fingers that the nausea is slipping away for good (and to help it I picked up some pills at Whole Foods which are supposed to be good for "morning sickness"

Let the Water Works Begin

Well, actually, the water works have been going since I found out I was pregnant. Crying at the image of a baby/puppy/grandma/animal, whatever. I am crying constantly. Last night I had a total breakdown.

I have been reading that sometimes morning sickness can be caused by internal stress that you create in your body via mixed emotions about being pregnant. I don't know if that is what is giving me nausea, but I can say that my psychological state is all over the place right now. While I feel so blessed to be having a baby and to be given this gift of life, I am flipping out at the overall big deal that it is. I am really scared.

Scared of:

Being nauseous and sick
Being tired
Not being my normal, energetic self
Not being able to be social and interact with people (because right now, all I want to do is stay in bed, bury myself under the covers and come out in 8 months)
Buying new clothes as my belly, boobs and other parts grow (especially since I lost 20 pounds over the past several years)
Being tired
Getting sick (wait, did I already mention this)
Getting bigger
Not being able to drink wine at parties, trips, events
Falling asleep at dinners
Wanting the baby out sooner than it is ready as 9 months seems like forever
Giving birth (an obvious one)
and oh yeah, being a parent! I don't even feel like I can take care of myself let alone a baby. My whole life is going to change and I am struggling to accept this. I had a great life going on, I worry that having a baby will take away all of the freedom I have.
I worry that I will be a horrible parent - will I wake up when the baby cries, will I remember to put them in a car seat, will I know what to feed them, how to dress them and when to change them.

Oh, it is overwhelming!

I don't want to be afraid, but it is a very real emotion rushing through my body right now. This is what caused my breakdown yesterday. My poor husband.

While I know this is normal, I still struggle with how to deal with them. I was just getting to a good place with myself and now I have a whole new journey that I was not prepared to take.

I need to find a new psychologist ASAP!